Society loves a lazy, pre-packaged narrative. It looks at a single Black woman with children and instantly passes judgment: “Obviously, she did something wrong.”
But you don’t know me, and you don’t know my story. You were never there to ask the questions to get to know me, because your bias already gave you an answer you were comfortable with. You didn’t see the reality of what I sacrificed to ensure my children had everything they needed. If you want the raw, unfiltered truth of what it took to claw my way out of darkness and rise to executive heights on my own terms, you’ll have to read that in my book, Don't Flinch. By
Yet today, men who haven't earned the right to speak into my life look at me, pass judgment, and expect submission.
How dare you demand leadership or ask a woman to submit to you when you don’t even understand what it fundamentally means to be a man?
Let’s look at the real standard from that video (below). True manhood is about covenant, sacrifice, and order. A real man doesn’t step back, play video games, and claim he’s "tired" while a woman carries 100% of the household load. If a woman has to carry all the invisible labor alone - scheduling the appointments, tracking the meals, checking the homework, and managing the grind - that is not a partnership. It is a one-sided system that is failing, and it breeds nothing but depression and anxiety because of a total lack of leadership and spiritual covering.
And yes, this isn’t a one-sided conversation. Some women ARE out here having children for the wrong reasons. But let’s trace accountability back to the source: What did you do as the man before you chose to lay down with that woman? And what are you doing right now to protect, provide, and show up?
I am completely done swallowing my words or overextending my kindness to keep a counterfeit peace. Stop judging the outcome when you refuse to look at your own lack of leadership. If you want a woman to honor your presence, you need to first understand the weight of what it takes to actually build a home, protect a space, and be a man.
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