The Hard Lesson of Standing Up for Yourself: My Journey from Suffering to Self-Belief

I've come to realize something profound: it is not noble to endure someone’s mistreatment simply because you empathize with their pain. It leaves you vulnerable to being drained, exploited, and stripped of your peace. I once believed that by enduring this treatment, I could somehow earn better treatment in return. This misconception took a toll on my well-being and ultimately put me on my deathbed.

For a long time, I struggled with the idea that my suffering was a necessary sacrifice for a better outcome. I thought that if I just bore the burden of someone else's negativity, things would change for the better. However, it wasn't until May 6, 2024, that I faced the consequences of this mindset head-on.

That day, I experienced excruciating pain that was unlike anything I had ever felt—even more intense than childbirth. I clung to the belief that I could simply endure the pain, hoping it would fade away like a bad dream. But instead, the agony escalated, leaving me no choice but to call an ambulance.

When the paramedics arrived, I was terrified and disoriented. I felt nauseous, hot, and the room was spinning around me. The thought of my children and the responsibilities I had weighed heavily on my mind, amplifying my fear. As the paramedics hooked me up to a blood pressure monitor, I saw numbers that sent my panic into overdrive—300/256. The urgency of the situation hit me hard when they called the hospital to request medication to manage my condition.

In that moment, I felt as if my life was flashing before my eyes. I reflected on everything that had led me to this point and what lay ahead. By the time I arrived at the hospital, the medication began to take effect, but I was bracing myself for the worst. I was familiar with pain and had been dismissed by medical professionals before, so I feared they would overlook my situation again. However, when the doctors informed me about the seriousness of my condition, my heart sank. 

Had I not chosen to seek help, I wouldn't be here today. That realization became the catalyst for my transformation. I learned that no amount of hurt justifies harming another, and that I couldn't guide someone toward healing unless they chose it for themselves. Hurt people don’t have to hurt people.

Now, as I reflect on my recovery and the mystery surrounding my health scare, I understand that enduring mistreatment can be detrimental to your well-being. I underwent countless tests, blood draws, and evaluations, and it all culminated in the most beautiful news: on January 24, 2025, my doctor told me I no longer needed their care. 

That moment was a testament to the strength I found in standing up for myself. As I stated before, this was not the first time I was met with this particular issue and it wasn’t until the episode in May that I realize I could’ve been gone a long time ago. I realized that it’s not noble to suffer the mistreatment of others; rather, it is noble to believe in yourself and be steadfast in pursuing your dreams. 

So, I hope you learn to stand tall and refuse to let disrespect seep into your soul. If you can still offer kindness after enduring pain, then others can choose kindness too—if they are willing. Remember, your peace and well-being matter. Don’t hesitate to prioritize yourself and seek the love and respect you truly deserve.