A Lesson in Love: Why I Turned Down a Trip to Costa Rica

Hi there! I want to share a story about something important I learned recently about love and relationships. It all started when I got invited to Costa Rica. I was super excited! I thought this would be a great vacation since I had been working really hard and needed a break. Can you believe I had almost 500 vacation days saved up? That's like three months of nonstop fun! I was ready to escape my busy life and enjoy some sunshine and adventure.

At first, I thought meeting someone I’d only talked to online could be a cool adventure. It’s totally fine to flirt and have fun conversations with someone you like. I enjoyed our chats and felt a connection. But as I talked more with this person, I started to feel uneasy. It didn’t seem like the kind of meeting I really wanted. I started to sense that our expectations might not align.

Here’s the thing: while it’s okay to want to meet someone new, it’s not okay for them to think you should have no boundaries. I had told him that I wanted something deeper than just a quick romance. I was looking for a slow and tender love that makes me feel safe. I wanted to build a real connection, not just have a fling. But then he invited me to Costa Rica during a weekend when I was really busy, and I wanted to spend time with my kids for Mother’s Day. That was a big deal for me, and I couldn’t just drop everything.

What surprised me was that he expected me to pay for my own ticket to meet him and, honestly, to have sex. I realized that this was his plan all along. It felt wrong to me. I told him if I could travel that weekend, I'd be happy to have some innocent fun. I didn’t want to rush into anything. But that wasn’t what he wanted. He started putting me down and twisting our conversations into something negative. It felt like he was only nice to me so he could get what he wanted. I was taken aback by his reaction. It made me question everything about our connection.

As I reflected on this situation, I realized it made me think about conditional love. Conditional love is when someone only cares about you if you meet their needs or do what they want. I’ve learned that real love isn’t about making deals like, “If I give you this, then you give me that.” It’s not fair to have to perform for someone’s affection. When love comes with conditions, it can make you feel tired and resentful. It’s like being in a never-ending game where you’re always trying to prove your worth.

I know that when you’re healing from past hurts, it can be tough to see these things clearly. Healing is often a rollercoaster ride filled with ups and downs. Sometimes we think we’ve found a reward for our hard work, but it’s really just a test to see how far we’ve come. That’s when we need to use discernment. Discernment means being able to judge well and make good choices. It’s about knowing what’s right for you and being strong enough to walk away from things that don’t make you happy anymore.

Remember, the more you love yourself, the stronger you will be. Don’t settle for something that doesn’t serve you. If someone tries to put conditions on their love, it’s better to walk away. Real love should feel safe and warm, not like a job where you have to earn affection. It should be a place where you can relax and be yourself without fear of judgment or rejection.

So, if you find yourself in a situation where you feel like you have to perform for love, remember my story. You deserve a love that is genuine and unconditional! Keep looking for what you truly want, and don’t settle for less. Love should lift you up, not weigh you down. Stay true to yourself, and trust that the right kind of love is out there waiting for you!