Embracing Peace: My Journey from Betrayal to Healing

It’s been a whirlwind of emotions for me over the past year, one that I never anticipated. Just a year ago, I found myself in a hospital bed, battling for my life. It wasn’t due to a physical ailment that could be easily identified; it was the result of internal chaos brought on by betrayal and the overwhelming stress that followed. My heart felt shattered, and ironically, it was that very stress that pushed my blood pressure to dangerous levels, leaving the doctors baffled. They ran countless tests, but despite my weight and the looming threat of diabetes, all results came back clear. I was “healthy,” they said, but I felt anything but.

Fast forward to just a few days ago, and I found myself in a similar emotional space. The weight of frustration and disappointment had built up inside me, and once again, I felt my heart race and my body tense. It was a wake-up call, reminding me that I needed to take a step back. I realized that I was still trying to control every aspect of my life, striving to meet expectations from both my own and those imposed by others. It dawned on me that I had to surrender, let go of the need for control, and trust in a higher power.

Despite following all the doctors' advice - losing weight, reducing my salt intake - my stress levels remained high. I realized this stress stemmed from my relentless pursuit to make everything work out perfectly. But what I learned over the past year is that when we release the need to please others or fit into their narratives, we free ourselves. 

So, I made a conscious decision to let go. I refused to allow the things that once consumed me to continue doing so. What mattered more than anything was my life, my well-being. I wanted to be present, to experience all the beautiful moments life has to offer.

I took a few days away, not just to recover physically but to confront my fears. I didn’t want to leave this earth without accomplishing the dreams I hold dear. It was time to lay down my armor - the metaphorical sword, chest plate, and helmet - and recognize that I was fighting battles that weren’t mine to fight.

This journey required me to seek a deeper, more lasting peace, one that transcended temporary relief. I wanted to be grounded in the belief that everything will work out in its own time, and I needed to be at peace with my fears and doubts.

I also realized the importance of silence - both in terms of my reactions to others and in my own thoughts. By choosing to step back, I could truly hear what my heart and mind were trying to tell me. 

Today, I woke up feeling lighter, more at ease, and truly ready to embrace the path ahead. I’ve gained clarity on what I need to do to continue this journey toward healing. It’s a reminder that sometimes, the most powerful step we can take is to let go and trust the process. 

If you find yourself in a similar situation, remember that it’s okay to take a step back. Embrace peace, surrender control, and allow yourself the grace to heal. You deserve it.